Well, I met the oncologist/surgeon yesterday and liked him. I was warned that surgeon's don't have the best bedside manner, but he was very personable. The worst part of the meeting was that I found out that I cannot have the laprascopic (sp) surgery. So I naturally freaked. I do not want to be stuck at home for four to six weeks. I will absolutely go stir crazy. And I am not looking forward to the incision pain, or the lovely scar either. Unfortunately my body has a tendency toward keloid scars...for those of you that are unfamiliar with that, it means your scar looks more like a fat fussy caterpillar. So I will now have a caterpillar running from my navel to my v-jay-jay. I still do not think and will not allow myself to think that I have cancer. Dr. Puls obviously did not say one way or the other, only said that I am not showing the typical signs of his other patients with ovarian cancer (score one point in my favor). But he did comment that the fact that my CA-125 was 167 that he feels something is causing it. He is cutting me open in order to be able to biopsy lymph nodes, tummy tissue, check around my intestines etc for signs of other things that my be causing my raised levels, if my ovaries biopsy's come back benign.
So I am just ready to get it over with. I have tons of work to do prior to d-day (which is Wednesday the 14th at 1:00). I called Merry Maids yesterday to come and clean my house this Tuesday so that is one less thing I have to think about. I am going to have to come up with a solution for Maggie, my beagle puppy, she loves jumping on the bed and on my stomach and crawling all over me...and that will not work next week at all. Any ideas? The longer I stay away from her, the worse she will be. If I am around a lot, I think she will be calmer.
I am also thinking of getting my hair chopped off. It is shoulder length and requires some work to dry, style, etc. If it drys wet it looks like I put my finger in an electrical socket. I am just thinking that going short, I can towel dry and gel it. But the thought of growing it back out is not a happy one...it takes forever and is not too pretty in the process. It isn't really long enough right now to just pull it back into a pony tail.
Keep those happy, sunny, thoughts coming my way! Thanks for all of your support.