Friday, October 2, 2009

I believe....

I believe….

…That yesterday I received the reality check I have been trying to push myself into for this year. I told myself that turning fifty was “The start of the rest of my life” and that I needed to begin some transformations. I haven’t pursued those transformations the way I was envisioning them in my head; I am still way too involved in my family’s lives and not in living my own, etc. But having a doctor look you in the face and tell you that he needs to remove all of your female organs in order to rule out that you have ovarian cancer, kind a puts things back to the basics.

I believe…

…that I DO NOT have cancer. I know that may sound pretty outrageous to some, but I just feel it in my gut. I have followed my gut feelings most of my life and they have been pretty accurate, so I will continue to believe that until they can prove it to me otherwise. That day will come in two weeks or less and I will deal with it head on with my Dad’s “Boot Strap” attitude in full force.

I believe…
…there is a higher power out there. Do I believe in GOD? That I am not sure of, but looking out my windows at the gorgeous mountains and seeing all of the wondrous things in our world, something, someone had to create it. Religion is something I have struggled with all of my life…do we really have to pay to get in to Heaven (tithe). And one of my best friends is Jewish, should she be condemned to hell just because she doesn’t believe in Jesus Christ? I don’t think so. If there is a GOD, I believe he/she would love all of us equally, faults and all. I also believe that my friends and family that do believe with all their hearts in this one man should also do so without question or judgment. So I guess I am saying I believe in faith. I have faith that I will handle all that life hands me to the best of my ability.


  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you! 50 will be a good year for you! I'll be following your progress on Twitter. (( Hugs ))

  2. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts and prayers!! Be kind to yourself!

  3. My dear friend, I am here for you, anytime, day or night.

    Go with your gut, keep believing and keep your faith. This is just another obstacle to make you an even stronger woman than you have already become. I love you! xoxo

  4. I believe in your gut too!
    I had similar 2 yrs. ago when they found a 7 inch mass in my belly from my ovary. I kept telling everyone I just didn't think it was cancer. I asked the surgeon.."Do you think it is cancer"? He said.."I don't know, I just know it's got to come out of there". They did the works; complete hysterectomy, removed the mass, repaired a hernia, cleaned up some adhesions from earlier surgeries, & pulled up my bladder.

    I WAS RIGHT! No cancer.

    So, Keep your faith.....go with your gut feeling. God does "talk" with us this way.
    I'm now a follower of your blog and like your colors & layout. Good Job!

  5. My dearest new friend, "I BELIEVE", continue to use that phrase. Whatever you call the higher power is just that a HIGHER POWER. It is for you not others that "IT" speaks in your gut. "IT" speaks to everyone individually. I will think of you often now that we have become aquainted through blogging. I write on my walls, after all they are MY walls. I have BELIEVE on my bathroom wall. Thank you for reminding me!!

  6. I love you.
    I'm here for you.
    I wish you weren't having to go through the emotional and physical challenges before you. I belive, too...and so it must be what is supposed to be happening...because it is happening. So, the thing is to find the gift in it. We don't always get the privilege of understanding the plan right away...that's where faith comes in, I think...
    Regardless, I am holding you in my heart.